yeah...i guess you can say that is describing how i feel towards certain people right now. even people i dont even talk too. i dont mean too, but ergh...lately im very moody and easily irritated. sleeping has been a real big problem. i sleep and wake up an hour later, i tried sleeping early at 10 yesterday and woke up an hour after and so on. also these dreams have been a real bother, some...or most are random, and also some i understand why im getting them.
i really have bad negative vibe and thoughts towards some people right now. its horrible and i shouldnt be doing this but i cant control my thoughts. its like if youre in the dark, you cant help but feel as if someone is lurking behind you. your mind is just freely open and free to wonder and imagine things on its own. i really hate thinking back at certain things that i could have easily avoided. f_ck. its not even a big deal because why bother with something that's no longer in my life. well its a bother because its like losing something thats yours even though its something you dont bother looking at or use anymore. some shit like that. stupid photos, stupid comments, stupid etc.
damn. some people can really leave scars in your life. even if they're small, they're there and it will always remind you of how you got them. i really shouldnt give a damn about this because i have said i'm going to move on. i feel like a hypocrite because i tell others they can move on and just embrace their past and their mistakes. but look at me now. blech...just give me a day or two to collect myself. ill be sure to be fine again.
i cant even say the words definitely, shittt, or other words i normally say anymore without having such an irritated voice being brought up and replayed in my head. f_cking kills everything that's been said and done. i swear.
im just rambleing and venting out whats on my mind for my own personal gain. however my life's an open book for those who wants to pick it up and read.
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the second to last paragraph kinda made me laugh. LOL jus cus. sorry. -.-"
ReplyDeletebut anyways, yeah i know, it really is hard to let go of the past. especially when it's people who basically betrayed you when you guys were so close. the scar will be there, but you'll move on, it may take some time, but you will. be grateful for the things you have now, try to be positive and not negative! the glass is half full (:
haha wait, why was the second last paragraph funny. are you saying how like you can't say those words without giving an attitude? what? lol i dont get it
ReplyDeletebut umm you can't really say that it's the dark side that's pulling you or whatever and controlling you. you can control what you do and stuff. i mean if people are annoying to you, you don't have to be moody to others or be moody in general. why let them make you like that? and ruin all the fun. i mean they're already annoying enough. and now it's bothering you. do you get what im saying? i think you should just take a deep breath and forget all those stuff. it's not good to be agitated and annoyed. i mean it scares me sometimes too
It's alright to hate and dream of things that you don't want to dream of. We ARE human beings and we all have something in our lives that we dislike at some point in our lifetime and it definitely would make you feel a certain way. It common to have negative vibe because we also have positive ones too so why let it get to you when you know there are things just as good waiting on the other end (like spending time with your friends and family). As there are good days there are bad ones too so its things like that, that keeps us in check and face reality; you feel me? haha no homo striker T. You experience things because its meant to be that way and its there for you to have experience on it and grow upon it so you know what to do just in case you face similar situations. Cheer Up Homie ;]
ReplyDeleteno offense but you guys are forcing it with these shit. liek really now. just DGAF and move the fuck on. fck niggas and get money. lol even though you dont have a job but like.. yeah. tthats my motive. i need money. thats liek all that matters to me right now. hahaha.
ReplyDeletesorry i dont wana like give any advice or whateves because i think thats js stupid. the advice is obvious. do what you gotta do and js fuck bitches aiight. who the fuck gives. i certainly dont.
anywayss on a brighter side. hey look your leaving to vietnam in liek what 2 weeks? niceee. from there you can forget abt alll these people here and have funnnn.